Saturday, 2 October 2010

Offensive Weaponry, Arachnid Repellent and Marmite.


Sorry I haven’t given you anything new for a while, but I’m afraid I just couldn’t be bothered.

So I left you on...Monday. With cake.Yus.

Tuesday! I had my meeting to discuss my timetable, after a very suspicious looking lunch (French school dinners are VERY disapproving of vegetarians and I still don’t know what the meat was, even now) with the language staff. They’re all sat there drinking wine. I’m sat there, minding my own business, munching on an apple, trying to keep up with the conversation, when the Spanish teacher opposite me asks if I know where the CDI (library) is, for my meeting. I tell her no, she says “OK don’t worry I’ll take you”, before very casually pulling a very sharp knife out of her handbag. I’m not sure what I thought was going to happen, but the horror on my face must have been priceless.

Anyway, it was all very innocent; she wanted to peel her apple. Relief.

Although I must say, she did it with such ease that I just sat there staring at her. She must have spent years practicing that skill.

Had my meeting, where we decided that I would work with a class from each year group once a week, as well as run an English club two lunchtimes a week. I’m looking forward to getting the club going, it’s just going to be me talking to a load of kids about their pets and hobbies for the first few weeks, but after that I’m going to let them play scrabble, and they are so going to eat Marmite. In fact, I’m coming home at some point on a food pilgrimage, to get all the English food that those kids find weird, and I’m going to make them eat it. I can’t wait.

Wednesday, I went out with a friend of mine from university. The pair of us forgot to eat, subsequently ended up very drunk, I don’t remember where we went and I can’t even remember if they kicked me out or not. All I remember is that a man was trying to put his hand down my jeans. He was about 50. Ew. Spent a few hours walking around Paris in the rain after losing my friend, and was “befriended” by another black guy (the only reason I mention race is because I appear to be attractive to black guys in particular) who claimed to be walking me to a bus stop for a very very long time whilst trying to put his arm round me/hold my hand etc. Eventually I made him tell me the way to the Gare de Lyon, unfortunately this was on his route home too so he came with me. Mind you, I got home for free, as I walked through the barrier on his passe Navigo. As he got on the train (my train), I made the quick decision to do a runner and wait for another train. He didn’t find me. Muaha.

Thursday, well nothing happened Thursday, for I was asleep. Except for, when I arrived at Villabé after falling asleep on the train and waking up half way BACK to Paris, a lot of members of staff were getting off of the train, one of whom recognised me, and knew instantly that I’d been out all night. Thanks mate. I must have looked well rough.

Friday I started work! I went to my second school in the centre of town to be shown around the place, told the necessary information and to meet some of the English teachers. After this, I went to one class where I chatted to the kids for a while, some were quite enthusiastic, others less so, before observing three more classes in the afternoon. It was quite cool, and I’m looking forward to getting to work a bit more actively with some of the students. The oldest have their GCSE type thing this year, and I’m here to help them learn to pronounce words properly. Bad choice, British Council! This year’s collège graduates are all going to sound like EastEnders. Oh, and I need some slightly more casual clothes. Haha.

Friday night, I got a bit ill, so I took one of my strong painkillers. This caused a very strange side effect where I saw YET ANOTHER of these HUGE SPIDERS and became suddenly rather scared. It walked towards me and I ran away, before dropping a large book about Tibet onto it. I’ll let Buddha take care of you now, you overgrown 8-legged beast. I don’t even want to lift the book up now, just in case it runs out again.
Today, in between feeling horrendously ill, I have been to open my bank account with Cika the awesome lady who helps me to do everything ever, after this she had some shopping to do so I went with her, then decided that actually I couldn’t be bothered to do my shopping, so I just helped her to get hers. We went on the spider kill in Carrefour – it turns out everybody has these mutant beasts in their flat and everyone is a little bit “wtf” about it.

I don’t really have much else to say I don’t think, except for I’m supposed to be heading out tonight, but unless I start to feel better quite soon I don’t think I’ll be bothering. I really need to go and buy food too, for I have eaten all of mine. Maybe I’ll have to find the nearest pizza place, and feed myself on that for a night or so.

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