Thursday, 7 April 2011

The Apocalypse of the Internet (written 6/4/11)

About time I got back on this blogging thing really, isn’t it? There’s only a few weeks left of my contract and I’ve been neglecting you all! Not that anyone’s even interested any more.

Last Tuesday, as I said, was spent in work, finding out that knife boy is back in school, and also with Year 7 who were making posters about the things I like, love, dislike and hate. They all had to ask me 5 questions each then add their findings to the sheets of A3 paper that were at the back of the room.

And can I just say, they’re a bunch of lying bastards.

A lot of the things they were stirring up about me (apparently hating their teacher for one) didn’t make it onto this poster they were making about me, but there was still the slanderous accusation that I hate dogs.

Wednesday, as per usual, I did nothing. I might have gone out for a while, I don’t really know.

Thursday, I was back in work in my favourite of the two establishments I’m assigned to, working on comparisons with year 7, which was quite funny. They’re all more funny, more serious, more hardworking than each other, they’re all taller (even the ones who are actually shorter) and they’re more beautiful than each other.

Year 10 were working on things they would change about themselves and things they would change about their past, which went down kinda well. Some kids got really into it, others didn’t want to tell me anything.

I had another year 7 class in the afternoon, knife boy’s class. He was absent though, so I got on with playing Guess Who with them, which was fun. They’re really good at it! At the end of the lesson, their teacher told me she’d just found out he’d been excluded again.

Why?

He bit two of his class mates.

This kid has got issues. Calls me a bastard, a prostitute, talks about his condom supply, brings a knife into school, bites his classmates… I wonder how long it’s going to be before the boy gets sent to prison.

Friday, as you know, was 1st April, and they do celebrate April Fool’s Day in France, except for some reason they call it “poisson d’avril” (April Fish) so I worked with the European class telling them about my memories of April Fools and other various pranks I pulled whilst at school. Like convincing my entire form class that our PE lesson was swimming, making a fake plastercast and wearing it all day so I didn’t have to do any work, and I taught them the “you dropped your Gay Card” prank too. They found this hilarious. What they found more hilarious though, was the boy who didn’t understand the word gay. Fair enough, I thought, I might be pronouncing it weird, I’ll try something else.

Islem, homosexual.
Euhhhhhh, I don’t understand.

It still took him a few seconds to get it after being told in French. At this point, even I felt justified in laughing at him.

I plan to pull this joke on him at least once before I leave.

I got home on Friday night, planning on chilling out online, talking to people, having a few beers and such like. But no. The BASTARDS in this school decided to put me on a black list, meaning that I couldn’t access Facebook or Youtube. Why? Fuck knows. I know they said we were allowed “moderate and non-continuous” use of social networking sites during school hours, and this is all I had done. I had watched about three videos on Youtube the night before, which also wasn’t “during the day” as specified by the technician. So apparently, I had followed everything the technician had said, and STILL got banned? What a prick. I found my way around this block from what is pretty much my only contact with my family and friends at home, by rinsing my internet plan on my phone and using as much Skype as I could get away with, without provoking the fucking apocalypse in the IT office.

Saturday, I really wasn’t feeling going out, so I stayed in bed, and chilled. I really need to sort out my sleeping pattern. I keep getting tired in the middle of the day. It’s not good for my life. Two hour naps after work will kill me. I also need to eat better. My anaemia is mocking me at present, iron deficiency making me feel like death all the time. I’m taking my tablets, we’ll see what a week of steak and salads does to me.

So on Sunday, I decided to head out, otherwise I was going to be gravely behind on my ten trip challenge. Rouen is about an hour away, and I’d heard good things about it, so there I went.

5 minutes after arriving, my camera told me there was no more memory. There was an SD card inside, it was just refusing to read. Helpful! So I took pictures on my phone instead.

Rouen’s only small, so I had pretty much got round it all within a couple of hours. I went home to chill some more (weather had been awful in Paris all day) and talk to my girl using what limited internet access I had.

On Monday, I went to work, played snakes and ladders with the kids, and listened to their presentations on various rubbish. Some of them are a bit sad that I’m leaving, and asked me to come back next year.

Erm….NO! LOL!

The rest of Monday was a bit uneventful, so I think I’ll stop writing about Monday now.

Yesterday, being Tuesday, I didn’t make it to my first class because I wasn’t feeling particularly well. I slept it off, then headed into work to get the kids debating stuff about whether English school is better than French school. I wonder how this is going to pan out…

Year 9 are still working on their own legends of creation, and turned them into posters. Year 7 were doing the Guess Who thing again, and preparing for their oral exam. I did a bit of one-on-one work with the boy who has no friends whatsoever in that class because they’re bastards and he has an anger management problem. Five minutes after I walked away, him having worked fantastically with me, he was angry again, throwing pens at the two girls in front of him. I suspect they had been winding him up, but seriously, the boy’s going to give himself an aneurysm if he doesn’t get help with staying calm at some point. The horrible thing is, after the boy had got himself into trouble for throwing the pens, the girls continued to provoke him, meaning that I had to go and stand between the two tables for the remainder of the lesson.

I just hope this boy gets the level of help he needs before he does something that’s gonna get him kicked out of school.

Upon work, and after eating the worst chicken burger I’ve ever experienced (worse than those at school), I went into the supermarket to get myself some steak and some salad and such like. I was cooking my steaks last night, when one of my flatmates came in with a sponge in her hand, asking me to put washing up liquid on it. I obliged, thinking she was giving her sink a quick rinse, then she told me she was actually using it to clean the toilet.

Washing up liquid…. To clean the toilet.

And yet somehow, it’s always me to be blamed for housework not being done properly?

Anyway.

Now it’s Wednesday. I’ve waited hours for the washing machine to be free, someone put my cheese at the back of the fridge, freezing it, and the washing machine has decided to take about twenty years to clean the clothes I want to wear tonight. I’m going out, you see. I’ve been invited for dinner by one of the people I work with. Should be pretty awesome, hopefully my clothes dry and I don’t have to make the difficult choice between wearing dirty clothes and going naked.

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